A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because Joe took the personal responsibility to make sure his water was safe, and when his local water company followed the local regulations, producing sneaky false water quality reports, he knew they were false, and got his own water purification system. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe because he researched them. Others are taking unsafe medicinces but they are convinced they are safe because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised. But, they failed, and as a result, many "safe" medicines are not safe at all, leading to huge lawsuits. Almost none of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, driving up the cost of medicines, and increasing his copays - now Joe gets minimal medication subsidies, and make much less money at work, all because the unions took a large chunck of his pay, and his employer pays him less so that they can provide insurance. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is not safe to eat because it contains high levels of nitrates, but he enjoys it, and will eat it anyway, accepting the risks for the reward. Still, some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry, which still did not make the bacon safe to eat. In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Sadly, this particular product was never tested on animals, so it will cause a terrible rash, and it will later be discovered that the lableing was wrong. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because chose to live away from the city, not because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. That is still happening because the trucking industry makes 90% of the automobile pollution, but is exempt state emmission laws whose primary mission is to create government jobs and state income. He walks past the subway station, snearing at those who use government-subsidized transportation to ride to work. He pays considerable money in parking and transportation fees because he takes personal responsibility for his own expenses and becasue he is an adult, but not because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives lazy people the opportunity to avoid personal responsibility by having taxpayers subsidize their transportation. Joe begins his work day. He has an ok job, with mediocre pay, terrible medical benefits, no work provided retirement, rare holidays and little vacation, because the Obama Administration decimated the workforce with Obamacare. Joes employer cut Joe to 28 hours per week in order to comply with Obamacare. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should take personal responsibilty for himself and buy insurance to prevent losing his home because of a temporary misfortune. But, Joe is a Republican, so he has saved for that emergency, and refused to steal income from others to take care of himself. He also bought disability insurance, because he is an adult, and takes personal responsility for himself. His Democrat friends in the same situation did not plan ahead, took advantage of these benefits, and never returned to work. They just stay home all day with a "bad back" now, watching Jerry Springer, and voting for Democrats. It's noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. But Joe knows the Feds are stealing his money through inflation, so he keeps little in the bank, owns gold, and is not worried about the "fiat currency" that democrats rely on. Joe had to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that we would all be better off if everyone, including those who are better suited for tecnical schools, were educated to the level of a masters degree, thereby weakening the significance of everyones college degrees, and causing everyone to earn less over their lifetime. Sadly, he could not even get well deserved grants to his school without first taking these loans, and the interest rates he paid were exorbitant, because of the government run monopoly and corruption in these industries. He takes it all in stride though, and paid them all off early, because he is an adult, and feels that he should be resonsible for his own expenses. Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world, not because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards, but because he did his own research, and realized the standards were rigged, and he therefore, buys safer cheaper cars made from by companies without a heavy union presence, and the quality he receives is much higher. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house built and paid for by his family, unlike his democrat neighbors, who financed their homes via the Farmers' Home Administration, created because bankers didn't want to make rural loans to liberals with poor math skills and poor financial discipline. This same liberal mistake was repeated by Jimmy Carter with the Community Reinvestment Act (CRA), causing the housing buble and financial collapse of 2008. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification, preventing the normal market forces from developing a stable supply and demand for that market. Now his father uses very little electricty, but has exorbitant bills because the Obama Administration caused the price of electricity to rise exponentially, nearly bankrupting his father, who finally switched back to his woodburning fireplace for heat. He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father was a Republican too, so he saved for his own retirement, while his friends are barely surviving on Social Security and a union pension, all because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal convinced them not to take personal responsibility to take care of themselves or to plan for their own future. Now Joe doesn't have to take care of his dad, but his Democrat friends are taking care of their dads. Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. Reminding Joe that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe did not need, because he lived his life like an adult, and took personal responsibility for his life and his actions. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, He is a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like he has."
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